How Surrogate Mothers Explain To Their Kids That They Are Gestational Carriers?

NewLife is operating as a reputed IVF clinic and surrogacy centre for years now. We have been in the responsibility of countless childless couples depending on us to see a ray of hope in their lives. The main resources with us in our journey of providing world-class services to the intended parents are:

  1. World-class medical facilities provided by experienced and skilled medical practitioners of the same field
  2. Women offering to serve as surrogate mothers to help childless couples by carrying their child in their womb

We cannot deny the divine services that our surrogate mothers provide the intended parents with. They take up a huge responsibility of introducing the fertilized embryo in their womb and get pregnant with someone else’s child. She undergoes a lot of hormonal changes due to the medications she is in during this period.  We care equally for our surrogate mothers who commit to providing such highly appreciated services for someone else. Of course, they get paid for the services they render, but no monetary evaluation can ever suffice the number of sacrifices she does to bring happiness to a childless couple’s life.

Surrogate’s Livelihood during the Gestational Period

Most surrogates choose to live in their families during the carrying months. It remains easier for her to cope-up with the big responsibility as she lives with her own people. Surrogacy agencies also choose similar arrangements for the surrogate mother due to various psychological reasons. A surrogate mother is found to be more happy and healthy as she spends this crucial time with her family.

We should take it into consideration here that the surrogate mother is also answerable to the people she lives with. Elder members of the family might understand the profession she has chosen to help childless couples, but it sometimes becomes a little difficult to make the kids understand about it. They take the pregnancy to be a part of their family and mentally prepare them to welcome a baby home. It is even more complicated for those kids sometimes who have watched their mothers getting pregnant with their siblings before. Hence, it becomes important for the surrogate mother to make her kids understand the reality and not let any wrong expectation to grow in her kid’s mind. We have come across many such cases when the kid in the surrogate’s family finds it difficult to not have a sibling out of her mother’s tummy when he has waited long months for that.

As a surrogacy centre, we take full responsibility for such emotions and commit to providing best counselling during these times. Our surrogate mothers are provided with individual counsellors who help her to overcome such situations. The surrogate mother can also join her kids for such sessions. This will enable the kids to see many more surrogate mothers in the centre and understand the reality. Counsellors have their ways of dealing with the kid and understand his emotions. Yes, it is a daunting task for both the surrogate mother and the counsellors and needs to be handled very carefully.

A Mother’s Way of Telling Her Child

A mother knows the best ways to tell her child about any situation. She knows how her child reacts to any given situation. Hence, she is the best person to tell her kid about the fact that the baby she is carrying in her womb is going to remain with them temporarily and not forever.

Fairy-tale Stories

Telling modified fairy tale stories about angels who bless and help childless couples to have a child can be a good option. She can tell herself as the angel who is helping another family. These tales and be fables as well if the kid likes them more. This way he can relate more to the situation.

Fertility Lessons

In case the surrogate’s kid is a little grown up, she can teach him about fertility and how it affects the lives of certain couples. She can give examples of any childless couple that her kid already knows. This will help the kid to relate more to the situation. She can explain to her kid how she is helping someone with her womb.

Hypothetical Situations

Practical examples of hypothetical situations may also help with some kids. A surrogate mother can teach her child about “ownership” and relate the lesson to her pregnancy. This way the kid will learn to understand that the baby growing in his mother’s tummy is someone else’s. He will soon not see the baby around as the baby is supposed to go to its real parents.

Meeting the Real Parents of the Baby-To-Be

This is one of the most effective ways of telling the kid that the baby growing inside his mother’s tummy is someone else’s. Once the kid gets a chance to meet the real parents of the baby, he gradually tends to develop this acceptance within him that the baby will ultimately go with these people. The kid can relate to the stories his mother has told him about the baby more as he meets the real parents in person.

Answering The Kid’s Questions Truly

There will be countless questions popping up into the kid’s mind as he sees his mother getting pregnant but telling her differently about it. It is necessary to answer all his questions with facts. He might not understand it all, but at least he will have an idea that the baby is not going to be his sibling. This is most important or else the baby might suffer from emotional distress as his wrong expectations do not get fulfilled.

Ending Words

As a matter of fact, women with kids are mainly given preferences to be chosen as a surrogate mother. Also, she is accommodated in her own house with her family during the period of gestation. Hence, it becomes really very necessary to counsel the surrogate’s family members regarding their attachment with the child growing in the surrogate’s womb. Kids in the family especially need attention so that they do not suffer later due to any undue expectations in their minds.